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When I told you that "Raindrops on Roses and Laughter on Pungas" was one of my favorite posts I've ever written, I said so because: 1) it preserves a treasured memory, and 2) I think I was tapped into a wisdom greater than my own when I wrote it.
"...and I grabbed my boy so that he, too, could soak in this experience which is, like the rain, at once grounding and heavenly."
I'm sorry; what did you just say? I couldn't hear you over the sound of how AWESOME that analogy is.
BUT. (And this is a big "but," folks.)
[I like big "buts" and I cannot lie.]
BUT. That post has been gnawing on my conscience for two years now.
Here's why:
One of my intentions in writing publicly like this is to provide new perspectives to help you (and me) embrace gratitude and optimism in all situations.
While the Punga rainstorm WAS a good example of living presently and optimistically, the whole thing was just a little too perfect to be a good illustration of the idea of "finding rainbows in the rain."
The rain is supposed to be proverbial for that saying to work.
Whoops.
Another reason that post makes me mildly uncomfortable is because it transports me back to a time when, by and large, I thought I had to hide the sad parts of myself from the world in order to be likable. It brings me back to a (31-year) period when I thought that being a good person meant that I need to PRETEND to be happy even during the times when, deep inside of me, I did not feel happy at all.
[Side note: "Fake it till you make it" IS a good mantra for a gloomy DAY, but it is obviously not a panacea for unhappiness. Do not swallow your negative emotions, Lovies! Accept and address them. As Mastin Kipp so wisely pointed out in last week's Love University course, "Repression leads to depression!"]
After much personal exploration, I'm now realizing that optimism doesn't mean PRETENDING. It entails ACKNOWLEDGING and BEING. To be truly optimistic, we must lock pupils with our challenge, give it a valiant head-nod, and tenaciously CHOOSE GRATITUDE in spite of--no--BECAUSE OF our challenges.
We cannot wait until it is light outside before we shine. We must shine BECAUSE it is dark out. We shine because the light is WITHIN us and the world needs us to let it out.
Capiche?
So: try and try again, right? I want another swing at my original idea for a "Today is my favorite day" post.
[Of course, I'm not gonna PRETEND to you that I am a flawless optimist at all times, but I do think I could step it up a notch with my writing--to illustrate what I mean about the "ACKNOWLEDGING" and "BEING" parts of optimism.]
GAME ON.